kinder, über alles

… Joseph Haydn’s jingoistic composition extolling the virtues of deutcheland and his emperor notwithstanding. I like Haydn’s oratarios much better though – the seasons and the creation.

Yes. Children above all.

I remember to have read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk’ of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish a decade back or so.  So, when I started rereading  the ‘borrowed’ book from the NammaShaale library on a lark, I was quite amazed that I did not remember most of the content. Quite sad. So, the night before last I sat up almost finishing the book. Now I have to reread it and take down notes, religiously.

It is amazing how much I miss out if I am NOT ready for something, even though that something may be staring at me all the time and I may even direly need it like life itself! This reminds me of another of those fine books of Wayne Dyer titled ‘You’ll See It When You Believe It: The Way to Your Personal Transformation– I would have dismissed this book too, as a mere mumbo-jumbo, a few decades back.  And oh boy, am I happy having rediscovered Carl Gustavus Jung and Erik Erickson

Another book by the same Adele & Elaine that parents may find extremely useful would be: Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too – strongly recommended.

The whole set of books (of Adele and Elaine) could be reduced to a following seemingly simple algorithm, for life that is! And the books contain a ‘toolkit’ approach to dealing with issues, which is quite handy for the current times of serious attention deficit disorder of us adults…

  1. To ‘facilitate’ children to express their feelings.
  2. To accept the feelings of the children as a given.
  3. To listen to them, with empathy.
  4. Offering a set of meaningful choices and trust the spirit of the children.

The premise of the books, with which I agree wholeheartedly is ‘be the change you wish to see’ – and the books embrace the concept and build a set of effetive approaches to deal with our children.

At another level, if we replace the word ‘children’ with adults, the effects are much the same. This is an added bonus of the approach of E and A.

When one begins to use the techniques, it would seem as if they are corny and endlessly phoney. But, by and by, one’s feeling of being ‘artificial’ gets reduced.

Once again, my spouse and I would strongly recommend using and practising these books.

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